Yes! For me, Sundays are sacred. The boyfriend and I consider it our culture day. No band practice, no work, no school. We go to museums or to the park, or stay in bed and read and watch movies all day. It's a good day to try new recipes too :)
the real life
JoinedPosts by the real life
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30
Saturday Mornings
by zarco inthen: get up grumpy, shower, go to starbucks, leave magazine to start time, drive to kingdom hall, hope to be able to work with friends in service so we can do just a few doors and then calls and an early lunch.. .
now: get up when i wake up, make coffee, read the boards, read the wsj and sf chronicle, wait for wife to wake up, take dog on a walk and decide what fun things to do in the bay area this weekend.. i love my weekends now!.
zarco.
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50
Was There a Fictional Work Helped You Realize the Truth About the (T)ruth?
by BabaYaga inthe pen really can be mightier than the sword, and even fiction often carries much weight and powerful messages.. did you read a book or watch a movie that made you think?
did an "entertaining" work plant a seed of doubt?.
the first one i can remember making a definate comparison to the witnesses in my mind was ray bradbury's martian chronicles.
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the real life
Lucky Calamity - I really liked your post :) I recommend the novels of Tom Robbins. They are wacky, fantastical, philosophical, epic stories with tons of characters and they often span centuries of history and include lots of quirky culture. Most of all, they taught me to say "yes" to life. JW culture says a big noooooooo to life, so it was very refreshing. I especially love Jitterbug Perfume and Still Life with Woodpecker.
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paranoid and ready to officially leave!
by leftchica inso i officially realized today that i am paranoid!!
everytime i hear a car door slam outside i peek out the window.
my blinds are closed and the telivision is on low.
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the real life
Good post, Jeff. I agree that honesty and sincerity are what bring peace. That was one of the biggest reasons I left. I knew I could never be sincere in JW activities again and I wanted to wake up every morning knowing that every action I took was what I really wanted to do. And leftchica, hang in there. I remember when I was first fading, I hung out in my basement a lot with the main lights of the house off and I always freaked out when the doorbell rang, or if I heard a car. I made friends park in the garage, and I was constantly on the lookout for witnesses or witness cars when I went out (small town). All of this seems unecessary looking back, but part of me is glad I faded rather than DA, for family reasons (I stil have parents who are half-in). About a year after leaving, I moved out of the country, so I am completely free of any related anxiety. Just take your time, and focus on learning about yourself. Things tend to eventually work out. I wish you the best.
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Stupidest JW meeting answers
by GapingMouth ini was thinking about some stupid non-sensical answers i have heard over the years.
"we all know the blue whale is the biggest fish"
"we were on the ministry and met a coloured couple.
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the real life
There was a recording being passed around a couple of years ago of a brother giving a District Convention talk in Illinois about the "wondrous creations of Jehovah." There was something about the giant squid and the brother said testicles in place of tentacles throughout the talk (he has 10 large testicles and can reach lengths up to 46 feet from the caudal fin to the longest two testicles, etc). It was a manuscript talk at that.
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"apostates" and the internet
by drew sagan ini'm sure some of you have seen this, but it still makes me laugh.. .
taken from:.
http://pastorrussell.blogspot.com/.
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the real life
hahaha
creditable?
I think he meant credible...
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8
The long term effects of losing friends and family through shunning
by finding my way ini've recently been thinking about this topic as i've been finding old friends on facebook etc.
that were just gone one day because either their whole family da'd themselves or they had been df'd.
not to mention the friends i lost when i myself was df'd.. most of my life i found this losing of friends normal because it was what i was used to.
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the real life
I think about this a lot too. Having difficulty letting yourself get attached emotionally to people is certainly not unique to witnesses. As Spook said, it is common for people to lose touch with childhood friends and to make longer-lasting friendships in their mid- to late-twenties.
On the other hand, I do think that as dubs, we were taught to always try to find common ground with people and to always agree! I know a few other ex-dubs who find themselves not always being honest right away about their differences and disagreements in an attempt to maintain the status quo and not make any waves. I guess that's not quite the same issue, but I think it has a negative effect on the depth of relationships.
Being taught to agree and look for common ground makes us completely ignorant of the fact that differences in perspective are beautiful and fascinating and can be the basis on which to build new relationships. I think that a lot of witness friendships are rather shallow - we aren't really allowed to share every side of ourselves, as we're constantly in fear of offending someone.
All of that can't be good for long-term relationship building. It trained us to disguise our true selves and to be content with only getting to know the opinions of others that were in line with our own beliefs.
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Young JW sisters in a hurry
by asilentone indid you notice any young jw sisters in the past that did rush to get married too young and to have a baby right away before the end comes?
did you hear any stories of regret?
i was wondering if the watchtower is to blame for?.
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the real life
I was married at 19 and divorced at 22. The more I read the boards and the more news I hear from my old congregation, this story is very, very common. Many of my former friends married young and are now divorced. I can think of six couples just in one congregation. And of course, most of them ended by adultery as well. Kind of a miserable pattern...
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Any ex-dub expats?
by the real life inhi,
i was just wondering if there are any ex-witnesses on the board currently living in paris?
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the real life
Hi, I was just wondering if there are any ex-witnesses on the board currently living in Paris?
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27
has your life been "blessed" since leaving?
by tigeress inwhile in the org we are constantly told that if we just tow the line and behave that will we be blessed and everything we want will come to us.
personaly i havn't found that to be the case in the 30 years i spent trying to tow the line.. but now i've left wonderfull things are starting to happen in my life and i'm so very happy!.
so i wondered, have you encountered more "blessings" or less since leaving?.
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63
Have you Overcome Guilt & Fear Since Exiting Jehovah's Witnesses ?
by flipper inminimus had a great thread recently asking if any who were witnesses felt guilt as a jehovah's witness.
thought i would build on that a little dealing with how you have moved on after being a jehovah's witness ?.
one definition of guilt in the american heritage dictionary is : " self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing ".
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the real life
As a young child, I remember having extreme guilt for what, in looking back, was normal kid behavior (i.e, crushes, holding hands, using the occasional swear word, etc.) There were times during my adolescence when I just didn't feel sincere about many aspects of the organization. For this, I often felt that I was a bad person, that I didn't have a good heart, etc. Later, as an extremely young wife longing for worldly experiences (worldly in the usual sense - travel, romance, cultural experiences and socio-political involvement - not the JW sense) I cheated on my husband. After I had ended the relationship, confessed to my husband, and started working through all manner of personal issues, I had a very difficult time understanding why I had made that bad decision. In some ways I feel like something subconscious was pushing me out of my situation. Somewhere deep down I must have known that I wasn't where I belonged. As I've grown, post-JW, I feel that I've become a more thoughtful person. I find that being raised in an organized religion like the JWs trains a person to turn off his or her powers of perception. Within the organization, while I certainly thought I was making conscious choices, I think my decisions were mainly based on the opinion of others and the handy list of dos and don'ts. Even good things I did as a witness were often with the aim of pleasing someone and not often out of a sincere desire. I very rarely feel guilt as an ex-witness because I find that I make much more thoughtful decisions. My decisions are no longer about conforming to or breaking a rule, pleasing or displeasing a group or an individual. Every new circumstance warrants its own consideration and everything I do, good or bad, I try to do with sincerity. That's not to say that I never do things I regret, but when I do, I feel like I fully understand and take responsibility for that choice. I think guilt comes from feeling like you didn't have presence of mind when you made a decision. It comes from a lack of understanding of your own choices. Fortunately I don't experience that kind of frustration anymore.